Here’s to a Strong Woman! An interview with Dari Borun
Here’s to strong women. We may know them, raise them, and be them. This month, we are proud to honour International Women’s Day on March 8th. We have sat down with a very empowering woman that represents MYKA and strong women everywhere, whose story is nothing less than inspiring.
CAN YOU PLEASE EXPLAIN TO OUR READERS ABOUT YOUR BEAUTIFUL DAUGHTER VIRSAVIYA'S CONDITION?
Virsaviya has Pentalogy of Cantrell Condition which means her heart and intestines were placed outside of her body since birth, because the rib cage and abdominal muscles didn’t form properly while she was in my belly. Her heart has a birth defect, conoventricular VSD, a hole where portions of the ventricular septum should meet just below the pulmonary and aortic valves. This type of VSD when it’s large (like Virsaviya’s 2.5 centimetres) has almost no chance for spontaneous closure and often requires surgical repair. As well, Virsaviya has pulmonary hypertension, a type of high blood pressure that affects the arteries in her lungs and the right side of her heart; tiny arteries in her lungs and capillaries become narrowed, blocked or destroyed. This makes it harder for blood to flow through her lungs and raises pressure within her lungs' arteries. As the pressure builds, her heart's lower right ventricle must work harder to pump blood through her lungs which causes a major lack of oxygen. Eventually this causes a heart muscle to weaken and fail. My baby girl also has asthma. She had a surgery to narrow down her pulmonary artery but unfortunately it was unsuccessful. Just a regular cold turns into a hospital stay with hypoxia. Currently Virsaviya needs an oxygen concentrator, a portable and lightweight machine to carry in school and be free of outlet cords.
WHAT DOES A NORMAL DAY LOOK LIKE IN YOURS/VIRSAVIYA'S LIFE?
Shortness of breath, fatigue, dizziness or fainting spells, chest pressure or pain, bluish colour of lips and skin, racing pulse or heart palpitations; these are all the symptoms Virsaviya has on a daily basis. However, we find strength to be positive and happy. She is turning 11 years old on March 30th, she is in 4th grade and goes to school 5 days a week. She enjoys drawing and writing stories, she reads a lot of books and tries to workout at least a little bit. She is in love with her baby brother and dreams to be an actress, a mother, and to help people in need. Every day I do my best to play with her, to pray for her, to lay down with her in her bed, to talk to her about her feelings and anything that bothers her; she loves spending time with me.
WHAT MESSAGE DO YOU HAVE TO OTHERS WHO STRUGGLE WITH MEDICAL CONDITIONS?
Every person is special and has a purpose. Our society must learn more about kindness and acceptance, so we would treat each other with smiles and love. If one has a condition-speak about it! Don’t be afraid to show that you are beautiful, smart, and worthy, even though you might look a little different from others. Share your story, by doing so you might inspire someone who struggles more than you. Stay positive and kind to yourself, use kind words while speaking, especially about yourself. Think about 5 things you were grateful for today, by doing so every day you will be able to find more good things in your life. Visualize your goals I believe words and thoughts are powerful, so by picturing in your mind clearly and confidently your biggest and wildest dreams, you will be able to attract so in life. Say thank you to God for simple things you have. Practice gratitude. Talk to your psychologist about any struggles you are going through, because our psychological health affects all areas in our lives.
PLEASE EXPLAIN WHAT IT'S LIKE BEING A MUM OF TWO?
Being a mum of two is the biggest blessing I ever had. The chance to have a second child gave me so much wisdom; I reviewed myself and my mistakes that I have made in the past while raising my daughter being a young 19 year-old girl in an abusive marriage. Unfortunately I wasn’t able to give Virsaviya as much love and care as I’m giving my son Ervin right now because I was constantly hungry and abused with domestic violence by my drug- addicted ex-husband. I was raised in a destructive family, where everyone were alcoholics, where my parents used to fight, where I saw my father choking another woman, and where my sister was in a coma from overdose. I grew up as a broken soul, a lonely child who didn’t have a place to go for help, who didn’t have anyone to talk to. I didn’t know much about how to love. Now, being a 30 year old woman, I’m working on myself every day to improve myself as a mother, a person, and a wife. I enjoying being a mother of 2 now more than ever. I give myself to my kids, I love to play with them, go to the park, pool, or beach with them. I enjoy seeing them happy; I work hard to get them things I didn’t have. I made sure to pick a great and kind man as a husband, so my kids and hopefully future kids could have a real dad that I didn’t have and Virsaviya didn’t have for 9 years. I love any child and would love to adopt a baby. Most of the time I don’t have time for myself but I always make sure that at least I workout to give a healthy example to my kids. It’s not easy to be a mum but it’s the best thing I could ever ask from Jesus. I learned and grew a lot as a parent and a human being because of my kids, they taught me how to love, treat others, be patient, kind, selfless, and generous. Virsaviya’s condition taught me how to love unique people.
WHAT DOES INTERNATIONAL WOMEN'S DAY MEAN TO YOU?
For me it’s another chance to tell all women that we are beautiful no matter what skin colour we have, what size our breasts are, what hair texture we have, what language we speak, what size we are, how big our lips or eyelashes are, because we are beautiful children of God created in His image. I want to normalize self-acceptance and self-love, kindness, and gratitude for all women! A woman who can respect love and be kind to herself will raise healthy mentally loved children which will be our future generation. Happy mother - happy child - happy generation - happy earth.
DESCRIBE YOUR SOCIAL MEDIA PAGE AND WHO ARE YOUR FOLLOWERS?
My social media page is about love and kindness and Christian and psychological points of view on parenting and health overall. My followers are from all over the world but the majority is from the US, 85% of them being women.
GENERAL WORDS OF WISDOM YOU LIVE BY?
I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. It means I can do almost anything and what I do I always make sure I do with kindness and love. Instead of screaming at your child when you are frustrated, pause return when you are able to speak calmly. Instead of leaving your child to cry, pick them up every time they call for you no matter if they are able to speak or not yet. Instead of using electronics, pay attention to your children; give them love, play, laugh, invest your love and energy with them. Be a role model- instead of focusing on what your kids shouldn’t do, try to use positive language about what they can and are able to do, Use kind language towards yourself and their dad, because they will learn how to love themselves through the way you treat yourself and your spouse/their father. Don’t force your kids to eat, because most likely they will have an issue with their weight or digestive system in the future. Try your best to take care of yourself whether it is by eating healthy or working out, because your daughter looks up to you as an example of how to treat herself and your son will treat women the way he is raised to. Don’t stay in the relationship when you feel abused physically or mentally, don’t feel obligated to stay in the marriage that brings you stress, as you set the example for your children. I repeated my mum’s life by marrying an addict, my mum repeated her mum’s life as well and this circle would never have broken if I did not start to work on myself. I’m happily married for 2 years to a man who I know for almost 5 years. I love my husband and try to give him love and attention always. We share our interests and have some similar points of view; that’s what keeps us together.
WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE 'GIRL POWER' SONG?
Beyonce “I was Here”.
